Self-help books: seducing men\women

Firstly I want to state that this is ONLY MY opinion- there is no need to draw conclusions with anyone else or any institute I´m apart of, thank you in advance.

As a recent project I participated in, we talked about the self-help books that kinda.. erm.. "teach" people how to seduce\win someone over by a list of things you can do\say or.. just let´s say.. to change about you.

In my humble opinion, the whole idea of this book is a manipulation. I mean the way they want to lure you in by saying things like "oh you want to get him\her, don´t you" and "don´t want to be lonely anymore? read this and you´ll get anyone you want." Of course people react to these kinds of things, but.. what in the hell is the matter with the authors of these books?

Okay.. I kinda understand that some people really have a hard time being alone and they just want to be with someone AND they don´t care what they go through, but this is SURELY not the way to do it.

First of all, these books rely on the fact that people are ONLY driven by desires and really don´t concentrate enough time for themselves to think their life through. Talking about low and high self-esteem men\women and that you always have to play with them to "keep it exciting" and you can´t do the things you really desire and well.. the emotions you ACTUALLY FEEL should be suppressed at all cost! and it always comes down to reminding you the fact that.. "you do want to be with someone, don´t you??????"

I understand that at some point this all might even make sense and through the project we had to put ourselves in different roles whilst analyzing these books, so.. that kinda made me more versatile towards the subject also, but it still did not overweight my personal point of view on this.

As I see it, this book kinda tells us that.. people are easily manipulated with (which.. they.. are) and that anything and everything relationship-wise should be done as written there. It also usually brings out the con side of every action. For example.. the fact "nice and good guys never really get women and always the badass and 'intriguing ones' do" came up in a lot of the self-help books and.. I was kinda surprised at it.. then again.. I really wasn't.

I´m not going to stop on this subject, since this just kinda goes offtopic, but.. every single person at some point in their life want excitement, unpredictability and something "crazy" and that is one of the reason these kind of people are the ones favoured, but that usually doesn´t last for long.. or.. if it does, then that person is just someone who is in-need of something like that in his\her life. I´ll explain about this shortly later on.

People at some point, when reading them, feel the urge to change and try something new, since.. well.. let´s face the facts - manipulation works, there is no doubt there, but at some point people get too hungry for power and they lose themselves.

While analyzing the book.. at one point I just closed it and thought about the whole idea. If.. a man "needs" this book and willing to totally change his life and suppress his feelings\urges just to get a woman.. how fucked up will it eventually be? I mean.. if you need to go through these kind of books to totally change your view on the whole relationship concept.. then.. who in the hell you will you end up with?

I mean.. I love the way I see relationships without all the bullshit and playing and.. I´ll honestly say that I wouldn´t say no to the occasional "playing" from time to time.. BUT that time to time would be like once every 10 years.. maybe I´m the fucked up one who wants a normal relationship where you don´t have to read books to hook up with someone you like?

The idea I´m trying to squeeze out of myself is that.. don´t change your whole belief system just because you want to get that ONE girl\boy you really like. If you HAVE to change yourself to make him\her like you.. it´s NOT worth it, there are billions of people on this planet and.. sooner or later, if you´re opened to life, you´ll find the person who likes you for YOU - if you still haven´t.. then.. are you sure you REALLY want it to happen?

And lastly, let´s say that you read the books and try it and.. you even get someone and then you want to "settle down" and cut the bullshit that got you into that relationship, what do you think are the chances of her staying with you OR what do you think are the chances of the relationship being anywhere near the healthy scale? You tricked yourself and her to get you both in a relationship, at some point you´ll get tired of acting and being fake and.. want to move back to basis and then.. you just have to start all over and you´ll realise that you would have been better off just being yourself and meeting that special someone some other way.

peaceout.